Archive for January, 2004
Friday, January 9th, 2004
- Chinese Throwing Star Night
- Loaded .22 (with scope) Night
- Guess Your Cholesterol and Get a Free Footlong Night
- Leaky Bag of Urine Night
- Nickel Absinthe Night
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Friday, January 9th, 2004
- Professor Candypants (mime & contortionist)
- MC Preclear ‘n’ the “Get Audizzited” Crew (evangelical rap crew)
- Principal Badtouch (tapdancer & close magician)
- Roofie McSleepytime (clown hypnotist)
- Whitevan Andy & the Roadtrip Kidz (unspecified travel initiative)
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Friday, January 9th, 2004
- Like I was just traded to another inmate for 2 packs of menthol cigarettes
- Like I’ve been slapped repeatedly with a half-frozen sturgeon
- Like I’ve accidentally just agreed to finish the homework of every kid in my middle school
- Like somewhere in a big Sprint building, there’s a fat man with a monocle and a top hat smoking a cigar while dancing a jig and holding a fat bag of five-dollar bills with my bewildered face on it
- Very, very unclean
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Friday, January 9th, 2004
- Uncomfortable to see Fred McMurray and sons all playing Petula Clark’s “Downtown” on saxaphone (late in the run of My Three Sons)
- Genuinely saddened when it appeared Fonzie would have to spend Christmas alone in the garage (early episode of Happy Days)
- Pulling with all of my mental might for the buxom, wisecracking “Team ABC” (every Battle of the Network Stars)
- Utter years-long frustration at my lack of vocabulary to ask why some TV shows looked “inside” or “shiny” [shot on video] while others were “outside” or “flat” [shot on film] (various)
- Feeling an awkward but overwhelmingly powerful proto-sexual attraction to Emmy Jo (The New Zoo Revue, early 70s)
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Thursday, January 8th, 2004
- This Rodney Yee person is in much better physical condition than I am
- Yoga is not, apparently, a competition; thus, you are discouraged from yelling “In your face!” at your partner/opponent
- “Downward facing dog” makes me feel a little dirty
- Lacking a points system, Yoga offers no particular bonus for finishing quickly or making pithy remarks
- I remain suspicious of activities in which I cannot wear shoes or drink
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Thursday, January 1st, 2004
- All-day reggae festival (1988)
- Chewing on a fistful of D batteries (1970)
- Being in a Neil Simon play (1984)
- Talking to Pete Rose (1976)
- Lead singer in a execrably bad metal cover band (1985)
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