Five ways Angelina Jolie can quickly acquire more children

1. gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bags
1. make Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house
1. explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)
1. surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sack
1. lay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young

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