Archive for November, 2004

Five songs I’d love to hear performed by a competent junior high marching band

Tuesday, November 9th, 2004
  1. Carparts - The Long Winters
  2. Everyone Choose Sides - The Wrens
  3. In the Street - Big Star
  4. The Slow Descent into Alcoholism - New Pornographers
  5. I Felt Like a Gringo - Minutemen

Five possible career moves for John Ashcroft

Thursday, November 4th, 2004
  1. become genial TV spokesman for Crisco, the preferred ad hoc head-anointing oil of evangelicals everywhere
  2. hang out at the food court; throw piping-hot buffalo wings at breast-feeding mothers
  3. take internet veterinary course; learn to euthanize cats
  4. write and produce one-man, all-singing, all-dancing revue: Room 101!
  5. find similar country with too damned many civil rights on the books