Five terrible fake pledge-week specials on PBS

1. Surviving members of *every* 50s doo-wop band fight to the death with clubs — shirtless and totally coked-up — in massive Thunderdome-like arena
1. cast of Monty Python comments on previous pledge-season Python commentaries (available on DVD for one-time $200 donation)
1. Gwen Ifill leads a group of American schoolchildren on a field trip to the Beijing factory where your tote bag was manufactured
1. Suze Orman and Johnny Knoxville kick each other in the genitals for 90 minutes
1. _Antiques Roadshow_ guests offered immediate cash on the barrel-head; provided they can eat their entire antique in three minutes

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