5ives

1. gently enquires as to where you like to put the turkey baster
2. repeatedly offers to demonstrate “how Blighty squeezes the lemonade”
3. stands in your front yard, pants-less and swinging a garden hose in lazy figure-eights
4. makes rapid “milking a cow” gesture while screaming something incoherent about Robert Johnson
5. drops his semi-erect penis onto your dessert plate

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 12th, 2008 at 9:30 am.

Theoretically Related 5ives

• Five (presumably) fake personality tests (and what I think my result would be)
• Five things to do when you should be looking for a job
• Five people of whom I confess to being a bit weary
• Five actors I prefer not to visualize having intercourse
• Five who wrecked my sexual cosmology