Five things I had to keep explaining to the guy at REI

  1. I’ll mostly be seated and typing while I wear these shoes
  2. I very rarely leave the house
  3. There’s a paucity of rocks to climb in the Sunset District
  4. I’d prefer shoes that don’t look like “The Visible Man”
  5. These have more than enough “torsion control” for smoking cigars and walking to the Walgreens
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