Five things you did while MySpace was down

1. repeatedly checked progress of floppy emo forelock
1. wrote lengthy longhand list of “friends”; “de-friended” each by means of vigorous horizontal pen strokes
1. idly doodled “_Dr. and Mrs. Good Charlotte_” in margins of your Consumer Math book
1. cutting — again with the cutting
1. imagined own funeral (and how sad and sorry everyone will be)

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