Five ways Angelina Jolie can quickly acquire more children

  1. gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bags
  2. make Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house
  3. explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)
  4. surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sack
  5. lay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young
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