Five possible signs your congressman thinks your teenaged son is hot

  1. mysterious dinnertime calls from “underwear police” reveal Capitol Hill area code
  2. last-minute codicil of House highway bill briefly renames your town “Jimmy’s Erectionville”
  3. “official” email invitation to congressional lap-sitting session clearly comes from AOL address
  4. extravagant gift of gladiator movie box-set personally delivered by Rep (perspiring in full gladiator costume)
  5. interest in son’s education seems limited to repeated insistence he read Death in Venice
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