Five terrible fake scripts from a notional fourth season of Gilligan’s Island

  1. Ginger gets badly hooked on coconut-based diet pills
  2. Gilligan quietly begins surreptitious relationship with Mary Ann’s cut-offs
  3. Mr. Howell acquires Skipper in stock-only buy-out
  4. Intact Coast Guard ship lands in lagoon; Professor disassembles parts to construct ersatz wooden “rescue telephone”
  5. Cousin Oliver arrives, reviving the tired franchise with his inspired island mayhem
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