Five terrible fake David Blaine endurance stunts

  1. perches atop a Shoney’s salad bar (throughout busy Mother’s Day holiday)
  2. wedges deep in Ted Kennedy’s jowl (duration of lengthy filibuster)
  3. stands dutifully in line at the DMV (16 weeks)
  4. sealed in oversized Ziploc® bag; simply forgotten in back of fridge (2½ years)
  5. attends taping of Dr. Phil (60 minutes)
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