Monthly Archives: March 2006

Five terrible fake Morrissey songs

1. Bachelor in a Casserole
1. The Swirling Clergyman’s Lament
1. St. Sebastian’s Disused Quiver
1. Dolorous Dolores
1. Gracious Knows These Trousers Bind
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Five modifiers you might have intended when you just said “literally”

1. completely
1. kind of
1. almost
1. not at all
1. figuratively
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Five places where the burnouts would hang out and smoke in junior high

1. The Tree
1. The Bridge
1. The Pit
1. outside the Red Baron
1. Scott’s dad’s trailer
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Five things that make me smile

1. the little arrow in the FedEx logo
1. elderly couples in matching outfits
1. “You Didn’t Have to Be So Nice” by the Lovin’ Spoonful
1. _Candide_
1. Jack Horkheimer
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