Archive for June, 2006

Five terrible fake scripts from a notional fourth season of Gilligan’s Island

Thursday, June 15th, 2006
  1. Ginger gets badly hooked on coconut-based diet pills
  2. Gilligan quietly begins surreptitious relationship with Mary Ann’s cut-offs
  3. Mr. Howell acquires Skipper in stock-only buy-out
  4. Intact Coast Guard ship lands in lagoon; Professor disassembles parts to construct ersatz wooden “rescue telephone”
  5. Cousin Oliver arrives, reviving the tired franchise with his inspired island mayhem

Five amazing high-hat parts

Thursday, June 15th, 2006
  1. “Dial-Up” - Ted Leo & the Pharmacists (Chris Wilson)
  2. “Every Little Thing She Does is Magic” - The Police (Stewart Copeland)
  3. “Peg” - Steely Dan (Rick Marotta)
  4. “Ceremony” - New Order (Stephen Morris)
  5. “Harborcoat” - R.E.M. (Bill Berry)

Five things, besides lying, that Shakira’s hips don’t do

Thursday, June 15th, 2006
  1. poach eggs
  2. long division
  3. tap your phone
  4. moblog
  5. take no mess