Archive for January, 2008
Thursday, January 31st, 2008
- gestate auxiliary sets of twins in climate-controlled Fendi bags
- make Brad build a big-ass gingerbread house
- explore viability of controversial “dorsal carriage” (a/k/a “butt fetus”)
- surreptitiously cruise Gymboree with mallet and a sack
- lay excess eggs in what’s left of Sean Young
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
- tearing the veil away from the morally bankrupt raincheck policy at Marshall’s
- “crowdsourcing” the naming of your new unicycle
- taking a symbolic day off from blogging to protest the unjust treatment of “some Oriental dude” you read about on Slashdot
- daring to name names in the “personal holocaust of customer service” you recently suffered at Fry’s
- funny new snapshot of your kitty, “Warrant Officer Ripley,” acting like she’s people
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Monday, January 28th, 2008
- Rambo V: Could You Repeat the Specials, Please?
- Increasingly Less Over the Top
- Tango & Cash II: Which One Am I Again?
- F.I.S.T.U.L.A.
- Rocky VII: Who Keeps Moving My Medicine?
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Sunday, January 27th, 2008
- talk through a vocoder, so maybe people will infer you’re a mean robot
- as you address your audience, consider stroking a cat or cleaning your mom’s rifle
- display tabular information about your perceived enemies in a large, readable typeface
- avoid contractions, so you’ll sound more like Vincent Price
- work the cravat
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Friday, January 25th, 2008
- Fishpie-on-Porkstocking
- Poxham
- Monoclesfordington
- Mutton Moat Wood
- Penishire-on-Derbyhat
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Friday, January 25th, 2008
- Moses: Top 10 Bulletproof Tips for Not Pissing-off The Lord (2 tablets - reg req.)
- HOWTO: Some Guy Compares Thee to a Summer Day
- Crazy Italian Dude Totally Draws on Pope’s Ceiling (DIGG THIS!!!!)
- I CAN HAZ INVISIBLE THUMBSCREWZ? Top 50 LOLInquisiton Macros
- BOOBIES - Hot Naked Chick Horses Around Coventry [PICS!]
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Friday, January 25th, 2008
- peanut-shaped peanut bowl made of peanut shells
- peanut surrey, drawn by two sweet potato horses
- Atari 2600
- peanut shuriken
- Side 2 of Boston’s Third Stage
Posted in five things | Comments Off
Friday, January 25th, 2008
- creating a bailment
- “meeting of the minds”
- in loco parentis
- “reasonable expectation of privacy”
- compulsory post-trial interview with effeminate scolding man
Posted in five things | Comments Off