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- Five Musicians to Whom I’ve Drunkenly Introduced Myself
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- Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels
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- Five things that should be issued to every American on his or her 14th birthday
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- Five rejected titles for the latest Coldplay record
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- Five historical blog posts
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- Five douchebag power tools
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- Five nouns from which it can be difficult to scrub the scent of utter bullshit
- Five Flickr comments left on the latest self-portrait of you staring slightly off-camera with your mouth open
- Five things, besides “your ride,” that you might wish to “pimp”
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- Five nouns to which I enjoy prepending an unnecessary definite article
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- Five things that make me smile
- Five songs I sometimes listen to on repeat for 20 minutes
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