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- Five Musicians to Whom I’ve Drunkenly Introduced Myself
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- Five terrible fake X-Men franchises
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- Five menu items at Silver Spoon Thai that could also be the name of an unsuccessful sex worker
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- Five inanimate objects that frequently seem annoyed with me
- Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels
- Five rejected names for Austin BBQ restaurants
- Five records I wish I could have sung backup on
- Five occupations whose uniform I think I’d enjoy wearing
- Five things that should be issued to every American on his or her 14th birthday
- Five unusual Top Chef production crew titles
- Five poetic phrases culled from Joe McConnell’s Bay Area radio traffic report
- Five rejected titles for the latest Coldplay record
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- Five cues that Robert Plant is ready to have sexual intercourse with you
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- Five historical blog posts
- Five surprising things George Washington Carver made from peanuts
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- Five pieces of fiction I’d enjoy hearing Wilford Brimley read aloud to me
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- Five songs I’d love to hear a couple use for the first dance at their wedding reception
- Five products on whose label Rachael Ray will eventually be featured, grinning maniacally
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- Five things of which I will never tire
- Five douchebag power tools
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- Five musical embellishments that should be used in moderation
- Five creatures I would depict interacting with one other if I ran a “Creationism Museum”
- Five songs to which I have a very clear recollection of french kissing in the 1980s
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- Five nouns from which it can be difficult to scrub the scent of utter bullshit
- Five Flickr comments left on the latest self-portrait of you staring slightly off-camera with your mouth open
- Five things, besides “your ride,” that you might wish to “pimp”
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- Five nouns to which I enjoy prepending an unnecessary definite article
- Five potentially novel new year’s resolutions
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- Five possible meanings of that Kanji tattoo you can’t read
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- Five places where the burnouts would hang out and smoke in junior high
- Five things that make me smile
- Five songs I sometimes listen to on repeat for 20 minutes
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- Five things I currently have no intention of doing
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- Five songs I’ve completely obsessed over
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- Five more excellent public radio names
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- Five people I’m told I impersonate badly
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- Five ways to get on the del.icio.us home page
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- Five user icons
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