5ives

1. If someone leaves their sunglasses in your car and they go unclaimed for five (5) business days, they legally become yours without comment
2. Don Knotts has macular degeneration so don’t make fun of his big-ass sunglasses
3. If you’ve spent more than $20.00 on your sunglasses, you probably aren’t spending enough on liquor
4. The more “futuristic” your sunglasses are, the more likely you are to be living in a farming community (and vice versa)
5. If you customarily wear sunglasses indoors, you better be blind or Kevin from The Wrens

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 5th, 2004 at 5:08 pm.

Theoretically Related 5ives

• Five things, besides “your ride,” that you might wish to “pimp”
• Five things you must abandon immediately
• Five thoughts on who “they” might be