- If someone leaves their sunglasses in your car and they go unclaimed for five (5) business days, they legally become yours without comment
- Don Knotts has macular degeneration so don’t make fun of his big-ass sunglasses
- If you’ve spent more than $20.00 on your sunglasses, you probably aren’t spending enough on liquor
- The more “futuristic” your sunglasses are, the more likely you are to be living in a farming community (and vice versa)
- If you customarily wear sunglasses indoors, you better be blind or Kevin from The Wrens
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