- My best friend, John Patten, and I should live in a fanciful treehouse with our future wives and a menagerie of mostly wild animals
- There should be a national system where everyone has to get a permanent identifying mark so the police know who they are (my paternal grandmother informs this is fascism and that it’s historically been frowned upon in the US)
- People should give me a TV show where I can talk to all of my favorite performers from a variety of media. Early guests were slated to include John Schneider, Blackjack Mulligan Jr. (nee “Barry Windham”), and Devo.
- Diane Lane (or possibly Jill Whelan) should kiss me deeply and often
- I should be allowed to play Tic-Tac-Dough for money, from my home, since I got so many of the questions right every night.
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