5ives

1. Fiber Optic Angel (with five-color oscillating ass-wings)
2. Celine Dion “Parfums”
3. Neon Guitar Wall Art
4. Electronic-Eye Santa (joylessly croaking “Ho, ho, ho” when it detects motion)
5. Advanced Formula Toe Fungus Cream

This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 24th, 2003 at 12:01 pm.

Theoretically Related 5ives

• Five Terrible Fake Christmas TV Specials
• Five unfortunate Valentine’s Day gifts
• Five things you might do with “all that ass”
• Five things I’d like to see corner drug dealers suddenly start selling
• Five things I had to keep explaining to the guy at REI