Five most depressing “Christmas Gifts” for sale at Walgreens

  1. Fiber Optic Angel (with five-color oscillating ass-wings)
  2. Celine Dion “Parfums”
  3. Neon Guitar Wall Art
  4. Electronic-Eye Santa (joylessly croaking “Ho, ho, ho” when it detects motion)
  5. Advanced Formula Toe Fungus Cream
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