Five things that a portly, scowling, fortyish, white-trash mother needs the teenaged cashier at the Home Depot in Holiday, Florida to understand right now

  1. She has had a very long day and does not need a whole lot of lip from anybody
  2. Her daughter is facing a completely unfair suspension from her junior high
  3. She can very easily take her business somewhere else right this minute
  4. This is the third time she’s had to come in this week about this and she really can’t talk about it any more
  5. She does not appreciate being treated like this, thank you very much
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