Five terrible fake fad diets

  1. The Conifer Program – Consume nothing but pinecones on days with an “r” in them
  2. Swap Yourself Skinny- Wear a vest made of delicious smoky bacon; eat only poly-blend textiles and brass buttons
  3. Paper Thin – Gorge on all the white bond paper you like
  4. Roast n’ Row – Eat all the tasty prime rib you want (provided you’re rowing a boat at the time)
  5. Chet Atkins Diet – Eat nothing but vintage guitars; avoid picks
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