Archive for December, 2004

Five more slightly misleading revelations of federally-funded abstinence programs

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
  1. Liberal senators want to award slutty girls free sub for 6th abortion
  2. Wearing green on Thursday makes you so totally gay
  3. Douche with Dr. Pepper and your baby will have luxurious brown hair
  4. When you masturbate on a Sunday, Jesus punches Keith Moon in the mouth
  5. Latex condoms make your kooch smell like a pork rind: forever!

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Five people it’d probably be fun to go swimsuit shopping with

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
  1. Robyn Hitchcock
  2. Ralph Steadman
  3. Salvador Dalí
  4. Richard Carpenter
  5. Francis Bacon

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Five descriptions that arose while boot shopping with Madeline on Monday

Wednesday, December 29th, 2004
  1. Too Bon Jovi
  2. Too Adam Ant
  3. Not Avengers enough
  4. Too Dale Evans
  5. Oddly Amadeus

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