Five pet peeves about eating out with Ayn Rand

  1. claims moral right to tour kitchen, personally choosing objectively best pot pie available
  2. even in large parties, always demands own itemized check
  3. loudly proclaims that you could have had that last yeast roll if you weren’t so damned weak
  4. only tips 3% (except for what she terms “heroic” service)
  5. always farting and blaming it on “irrational” woman at next table
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