Five things that make it somewhat obvious I’m not originally from San Francisco

  1. I dress like a slightly-retarded farm hand
  2. I drink Natural Light Beer almost exclusively
  3. I still can’t distinguish spoken Cantonese from Mandarin
  4. I still say things like “I’m not paying $2000 a month so you can block my driveway, Bub!”
  5. I still think “Eww” every time I step over a human turd on the sidewalk
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