Archive for September, 2003
Monday, September 22nd, 2003
- Jennifer Lopez (Struggling single mother and diner waitress, beset with late-onset acromegaly melts the hearts of her recent-immigrant customers)
- John Goodman (Struggling morbidly obese food critic, tragically born without a hypothalamus, devours flatware and crockery of Chicago’s finest eateries)
- Jim Carrey (Struggling set of profoundly retarded triplets with intermittent psychic abilities fails to consistently predict important international events)
- Brittany Murphy (Struggling double-amputee, 1/4-Cherokee law student with mild IBS teaches a town of old fogies how to dance…and, consequently, to love)
- Haley Joel Osment (Struggling child actor faces decreasing cuteness and an intruding urge to kill)
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Sunday, September 21st, 2003
- La Salsa Hombre
- Onan’s Bearnaise
- Love Pollution
- Saint Mayo’s Spread of Desperation
- Instant Daddy Mix
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Sunday, September 14th, 2003
- Finding ways to mention you don’t own a TV. Repeatedly.
- Expecting me to call you “Doctor”
- Pronouncing the French film festival “kahn”
- That little Garth Brooks headset you use with the cell phone
- Using the word “vortal” without a speck of irony
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Saturday, September 6th, 2003
- Adam & the Ants screen-printed velcro sports wallet (1982)
- Levi’s© denim billfold with patch (1978)
- Sharper Image™ taxicab driver’s wallet (1999)
- (My late father’s) Masonic wallet, featuring enormous creepy “G” (1976)
- Two rubberbands (1988)
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Saturday, September 6th, 2003
- Bumper pool
- est
- Macramé
- Pogs
- T’Pau
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Monday, September 1st, 2003
- Belle & Sebastian / Fold your Hands Child, You Walk Like a Peasant
- Badly Drawn Boy / The Hour of Bewilderbeast
- The Zombies / Odessey & Oracle
- Oranger / Doorway to Norway
- The Posies / Amazing Disgrace
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Monday, September 1st, 2003
- I Can’t Go for That (No Can Do)
- Kiss on my List
- Private Eyes
- When the Morning Comes
- You Make My Dreams
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