- Drink coffee
- Work on Ray Milland impersonation
- Read advice columns, scoff
- Water the aloe plant
- Make lists of five things
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Here’s Some More 5ives
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- Five inanimate objects that frequently seem annoyed with me
- Five terrible fake Jane Austen novels
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- Five records I wish I could have sung backup on
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- Five things that should be issued to every American on his or her 14th birthday
- Five unusual Top Chef production crew titles
- Five poetic phrases culled from Joe McConnell’s Bay Area radio traffic report
- Five rejected titles for the latest Coldplay record
- Five rejected names for a single-serving meal product
- Five ways to leverage the mobile thinkosphere
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- Five rejected names for “Cooter” on The Dukes of Hazzard
- Five cues that Robert Plant is ready to have sexual intercourse with you
- Five more terrible fake reality TV shows
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- Five songs I’d love to hear a couple use for the first dance at their wedding reception
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- Five things of which I will never tire
- Five douchebag power tools
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- Five Flickr sets that aren’t driving the long-term traffic you’d hoped for
- Five musical embellishments that should be used in moderation
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- Five songs to which I have a very clear recollection of french kissing in the 1980s
- Five tastes of childhood with which I’ve recently and happily re-acquainted myself
- Five nouns from which it can be difficult to scrub the scent of utter bullshit
- Five Flickr comments left on the latest self-portrait of you staring slightly off-camera with your mouth open
- Five things, besides “your ride,” that you might wish to “pimp”
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- Five songs I’d enjoy hearing Tom Waits cover
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- Five nouns to which I enjoy prepending an unnecessary definite article
- Five potentially novel new year’s resolutions
- Five nicknames I would find unbearable
- Five favorite words I learned last year
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- Five injustices you bravely suffer
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- Five things I wish I could get more into
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- Five amazing Beatles bridges
- Five ubiquitous anatomical embellishments from which I could use a break
- Five terrible fake Morrissey songs
- Five modifiers you might have intended when you just said “literally”
- Five places where the burnouts would hang out and smoke in junior high
- Five things that make me smile
- Five songs I sometimes listen to on repeat for 20 minutes
- Five composers I’m glad never had to hear their work performed primarily as ear-screeching ringtones
- Five things I currently have no intention of doing
- Five things that aren’t particularly helping my nascent dharma practice
- Five songs I’ve completely obsessed over
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- Five things I had to keep explaining to the guy at REI
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- Five things you can bring along to help make the party all about you
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- Five more excellent public radio names
- Five works I adore by artists I otherwise don’t care for
- Five people I’m told I impersonate badly
- Five things it’s worth paying a little extra for
- Five notional movies that might not have gone over as well with fundamentalists
- Five ways to get on the del.icio.us home page
- Five terrible fake entrees from the dotcom era
- Five ways your histrionic anti-abortion friend might refer to a fetus
- Five people of whom I confess to being a bit weary
- Five things (besides a television) that you could constantly remind people you won’t use
- Five rules of thumb
- Five more things Pat Robertson needs you to pray on
- Five They Might Be Giants songs I often find myself singing
- Five thoughts on who “they” might be
- Five favorite guitar chords
- Five rules from the NPR drinking game
- Five bands I’m sorry I never got to see live
- Five terrible fake non-fiction bestsellers
- Five favorite new wave drummers
- Five terrible fake secrets about Seals & Crofts
- Five things I have read repeatedly in the bathroom
- Five beverages I haven’t drunk very often since college
- Five Halloween costumes your sorority sisters are considering
- Five user icons
Here’s All of the 5ives
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