Five terrible fake positions not actually held by Michael Crichton

  1. Fallen arches, while not precisely a medical myth, are largely a creation of ignorant liberal activists (and their spotty data).
  2. Elves are behind most headaches and nearly all cellphone dead zones.
  3. Seat belts cause many more auto fatalities than they prevent.
  4. Mint flavor is actually not refreshing at all.
  5. If you can successfully remove the label from your Michelob bottle—all in one piece—you’ll totally get laid tonight.
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