5ives

1. Fallen arches, while not precisely a medical myth, are largely a creation of ignorant liberal activists (and their spotty data).
2. Elves are behind most headaches and nearly all cellphone dead zones.
3. Seat belts cause many more auto fatalities than they prevent.
4. Mint flavor is actually not refreshing at all.
5. If you can successfully remove the label from your Michelob bottle—all in one piece—you’ll totally get laid tonight.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 17th, 2005 at 10:40 am.

Theoretically Related 5ives

• Five terrible fake names for Michael Jackson’s children
• Five terrible fake names for failed dotcom design firms
• Five terrible fake 60’s dance crazes
• Five terrible fake names for vibrators
• Five terrible fake Dickens characters