Archive for March, 2003
Thursday, March 27th, 2003
- my nigga
- bodacious rack
- tequila poppers
- fully monetized
- mental floss
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Monday, March 24th, 2003
- I used to underbid other web developers by saying “The Requirements Process? Fuck that! They’re trying to soak you!” (1997)
- I used to forward things I thought were funny to lots of people via email (1994)
- I voted for Nader/LaDuke (2000)
- I used to be a telemarketer (1984)
- I used to “snake” on (mean) people’s hamburgers at McDonald’s (1985)
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Saturday, March 15th, 2003
- Paolo Frechetti’s Original “Zodiac”
- Gravitage
- Fünk Mechanicz!
- “New Zodiac,” featuring Rob Volaré and Martin “Mook” Beelman
- The Feelin’ Fines
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Thursday, March 13th, 2003
- O’Hurlington’s Beet Majesty in Unrendered Goo: 12-oz. Can
- Generic-brand 12-Bean Ranchero Puffs with Cornsilk Dip’n Sauce: FunPak™ of 5
- Mysterious Lady Friend’s Pork Torquelinas in Brine: 14-oz. can (with attached Brinevelope)
- “No Fucking Way is This Flan!” (aka N.F.W.I.T.F.®): 12 4-oz. pellets
- Shiftless José’s Organic Taco-style Shell Product with Embarcadero Cheezey Drizzlin’s: 15-piece “¡Bueno Suerte!” case
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Thursday, March 13th, 2003
- Pricey McMarkup’s House of Suspicious Deals
- Hot Fence Electronics Village
- Kostly Kornerz
- Chez Ripoffski: A Retailerié
- Misleadington’s Big Box
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Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
- Champ
- Chief
- Big Shot
- Fruity
- Tex
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Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
- Six pack of domestic beer: $3.00
- 2-bedroom house: $25,000
- Handgun: $20,000 and up
- Handjob: $5.00
- Admission to First-run Movie: $2.00
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Wednesday, March 12th, 2003
- Drink coffee
- Work on Ray Milland impersonation
- Read advice columns, scoff
- Water the aloe plant
- Make lists of five things
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Tuesday, March 11th, 2003
- Large gift ham in tasteful wicker basket
- Romantic boatride with Pavarotti (plus one other tenor to be named)
- Their weight in comfortable athletic shoes from Target™
- Semi-nude lap dance from former Senator Bob Dole, optional night of closed-mouth kissing
- Big old box of “Oriental”-flavored Top Ramen™
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Thursday, March 6th, 2003
- “Hold on Loosely,” by .38 Special
- “Stairway to Heaven,” by Led Zeppelin
- “Spirit of Radio,” by Rush
- “Sister Christian,” by Night Ranger
- “Don’t Stop Believin’,” by Journey
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Thursday, March 6th, 2003
- “June’s Foreign Spell,” by Spoon
- “Snowsuit Sound,” by Sloan
- “Come On, Come On,” by Cheap Trick
- “Car Radio,” by Spoon
- “Rocks Off,” by the Rolling Stones
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Thursday, March 6th, 2003
- Law & Order
- The Sopranos
- Six Feet Under
- The West Wing
- Newshour
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