Archive for February, 2004
Thursday, February 26th, 2004
- Unsatisfied - The Replacements
- There’s a Light That Never Goes Out - The Smiths
- Ever Fallen in Love? - The Buzzcocks
- True Faith - New Order
- Couldn’t I Just Tell You? - Todd Rundgren
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Thursday, February 26th, 2004
- Unattractive people are colorful and goodhearted
- Almost everyone in Tuscany is an aging character actor with a funny hat
- Italian men like watching women dance in fountains
- Tuscan birthing rooms have unscreened windows with extraordinary views
- The local police will give you rides on their little scooter bikes provided that you’re Diane Lane in a skirt
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
- The fanny pack
- The fake English accent
- The doo rag
- That black light illuminating the under-carriage of your ‘81 Tercel
- The hair plugs
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Wednesday, February 25th, 2004
- Protection of Words Fewer than Three Syllables Act
- Bill to make the “High Five” the US’s official greeting
- National ‘Everybody Wears Jeans’ Day (March 14th)
- The “Pretty Girls Shouldn’t Act All Stuck Up” Amendment
- Presidential proclamation that “California Must Apologize to Jesus (and It Has to Sound Like They Really Mean It)”
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Saturday, February 21st, 2004
- Eat big steaks
- Watch David Letterman
- Look at old photos
- Listen to Brian Eno (ambient period only, please)
- Talk about how my dead stepfather sucked
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Friday, February 20th, 2004
- Mandalit Del Barco
- Lakshmi Singh
- Snigdha Prakash
- Russ Ringsak
- Robin Gianattassio-Malle
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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
- She has had a very long day and does not need a whole lot of lip from anybody
- Her daughter is facing a completely unfair suspension from her junior high
- She can very easily take her business somewhere else right this minute
- This is the third time she’s had to come in this week about this and she really can’t talk about it any more
- She does not appreciate being treated like this, thank you very much
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Thursday, February 19th, 2004
- “Participate in Operation Prayer Shield” (bumper sticker on a minivan at Publix)
- “God made Adam and Eve–not Adam and Steve” (church billboard near Grandma’s house)
- “Welcome to America: Now Speak English!” (bumper sticker on a pickup at the Texaco)
- “NO FITTING ROOMS: In an effort to keep the cost low, we do not provide fitting rooms.” (WalMart Supercenter, men’s room door)
- “Please stand at least ten feet away from this door because sometimes it opens unexpectedly and you might get hurt” (Mom’s hip doctor’s office’s waiting room)
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Sunday, February 15th, 2004
- Jimmy Carter invented the “Pop ‘n Lock” breakdancing move when he was in the navy
- Warren G. Harding once stabbed a hobo on a dare
- Thomas Jefferson traded Dolly Madison three mules and a quill pen for an erotically charged lapdance
- Calvin Coolidge never finished his dessert
- James K. Polk liked it rough
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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
- “Bumfights” video
- Genital warts
- Monster Manual
- Deal-a-Meal™
- Restraining order
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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
- Bobby Joe “King” Crimson
- “Meshuggah” Hyram Rafelson
- “Syphilitc” Robbie
- Blind “Blindie” McBlindieblind
- Cantankerous Wilbur (no. 2)
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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
- Toothbrushes
- Athletic shoes
- Ordering coffee
- Getting out of jury duty
- Young men’s haircuts
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Saturday, February 14th, 2004
- Locker key (1981)
- Video game tokens/Quarters (1983)
- Jim Dunlop 1mm guitar pick (1988)
- Ephedrine (1991)
- Imodium (2001)
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